The Homeless Perspective

That Florida
Vibe

Who chooses to be homeless while pregnant?? In a way- I did. I had options that were not very suitable- like returning to a home that had a step-father that anyone would want to avoid; a trusted friend who I didn’t want to be a burden. The father of my child also didn’t want to return home to Tennessee so we made a joint decision to drive the 1,100 miles to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, to Covenant House after months of sleeping on and off in my car during the long winter months in the Midwest. –Visit Covenant House

I felt starting from scratch can be great thing. Sometimes starting over is refreshing. To some it may be scary. But the unknown is where you grow and learn.

While at the shelter I was in an environment and living in a dorm style residency one block from the beach with youth who lived an even more nomadic, tumultuous life than I had and had really rough experiences.

It was mandatory you established full time employment and turn in a percentage of your paycheck in a savings to go towards your moving out in the future. You had to take weekly classes, depending on your needs, in Life Skills, Parenting, AA/NA, Sex Education, and so on (the classes were tailored to your intake assessment).

While at the time being 19 I felt these were just classes that were an inconvenience and a way to keep us productive to stay out of trouble, but at the same time I always felt good after them and learned something about myself and about others. Of course, as I got older I saw how they were very helpful and beneficial.

Here I was a resident by choice due to my pride, trying to be independent, and not wanting to be a burden to my friends, and because the father of my child had no place to go and I wanted to keep us together, but most of the youth there were there because they didn’t have a choice. This made me 1. feel guilty and 2. realized my struggles do not even compare to what they have experienced: There were teenagers brought in by CPS and law enforcement with their bags- kids coming in to get away from abusive parents- girls who were in relationships with men twice their age and some prostitutes, but now understand sex/human trafficking was even around me then, however, the label was not as popular back then.

The more I stayed, the more I realized I didn’t belong there, but was also fascinated and intrigued by the environment. Talking, listening, and watching what was transpiring around me was quite the experience.

Before I came to Covenant House I slept many nights in my car with the father of my child, some nights driving around seeking a secure place to sleep. After going through that and my stay at Covenant House I have realized somethings about homelessness: It is experienced differently by different people. I was never that person on the side of the road asking for handouts- hell, I even had a full-time job during that time. I was determined to be successful and dig myself out of this hole- And that was not optional because I was going to give birth and was going to be a mother. But some people enjoy the freedom of responsibility. Waking up and not having an agenda, appointments, or obligations. It’s pure Freedom.

Hitting bottom still lingers with me today, even though I have a nice home and good life- I still catch myself late at night on a nice night to go just sit in my car to think and clear my mind. My car is my safe haven still. I can drive for hours to decompress or just sit in my car in my driveway with the top down and stare at the sky and meditate. Since I spent so much time in my car it’s where I go to get clarity, think, and problem solve. It’s comforting to me til this day.

I want all people to understand hitting rock bottom can actually be a blessing in disguise- If I had never had the experience of being homeless, I would have never have taken the road to become a probation officer.

Life Lesson:1. Gain wisdom in every obstacle

     2. Winter Always Turns Into Spring

     3. Embrace Your Struggle